


There's always a new beginning

by l_ss



Category: Station 19 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-17 20:56:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 16,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29723133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/l_ss/pseuds/l_ss
Summary: It's always possible to start over. Right?
Relationships: Maya Bishop & Carina DeLuca, Maya Bishop/Carina DeLuca
Comments: 79
Kudos: 231





	1. Chapter One

Four months. That’s how long it had been since Maya and Carina broke up. After being together for over a year, the two of them decided to call it quits due to a lot of problems they had been having in their relationship, judging it better as well as less hurtful to follow separately. Carina moved out, going to her brother’s place for a while before finding a place of her own. She had many options, but settled for a small flat just in the whereabouts of the hospital - she preferred it over the huge houses she had been offered. Meanwhile, Maya was back at her life of living alone. They would still run into each other eventually, but it was definitely not like they still participated in one another’s lives. They were ex-lovers acquaintances, and that was that. If they still loved each other? That was more than a simple yes or no question which they were nowhere near ready to answer. 

-

“We have an income”, Dr. Bailey announced as she got ready to go outside and wait for the ambulance, which didn’t take long to arrive. The doctor was surprised by her husband’s face being the first one she saw when the doors were opened, breathing out in a sign of relief when she realized he had not been hurt. On the other hand, two of his colleagues sat injured on the back - Andy Herrera presented some bruises and cuts whereas Maya Bishop, also with some lacerations, held her left arm in pain once it was broken and complained about abdominal pain; both of them were quickly moved inside, “page Dr. Link and get someone to take care of Herrera. And you, you are okay, right?”

“I’m fine, Miranda”, Warren guaranteed, following his friends inside just to make sure they were indeed okay.

Maya was taken to a private examination room to be taken a closer look at. Meanwhile, Andy was sat on a gurney in the emergency area when an unknown face came to assist her. The man didn’t look a day older than 20, but she thought he was doing a fairly good job, being very polite and explaining to her what he was doing the whole time. The firefighter luckily didn’t need many stitches, as most of the cuts were superficial.

“Okay, we’re done here”, the man smiled softly to her signaling he was finished, “you should need to come back so we can take off these stitches, but I think you can do it at home. Other than that, you’re good to go”

“Thank you”, Andy returned the smile, “could you, hm, could you page Dr. DeLuca? Carina, not Andrew”

“Of course”, the doctor agreed with no further questions, which was probably wrong, but Andy just accepted her luck. Since Carina was finishing a consultation, she took a little while to arrive there, giving Andy all the time in the world to sweat from all her pores in nervousness and anxiety. It was impossible not to notice Dr. Carina DeLuca walking into a room, the woman seemed to emanate a light out of this world; her friend was so, so stupid to have let her go, Andy thought to herself.

“Andy, hi”, Carina greeted her friend with a big smile and a warm hug, “what happened?”

“Nothing”, Andy lied poorly, “well, something. Many things. Is there anywhere we can talk in private?”

Although the doctor was confused, she just motioned for them to go to her office, where they would have all the privacy in the world. 

-

“Okay, Bishop, you’ve got a small bleeding in your abdomen”, Dr. Bailey explained to Maya, “it’s nothing major, so I don’t want to open you up only because of this but I would like to keep you under observation for 24 hours”

“Yeah, your arm won’t require surgery either”, Link addressed Maya, “I’ll put a cast on it and you’re good”

“They will take you up to the room as soon as he is finished”, Miranda said, “is there anyone you’d like us to call?”

Maya pondered for a second. Andy and Ben were already there and all her colleagues knew where she was, so she could fill them in herself; her father was way out of question, she had no idea where her brother even was and she didn’t want to worry her mother over nothing...and then there was Carina, who was probably working somewhere in that hospital, and on whom she would rely just a few months back, but now would she even care Maya was at the hospital?

“No”, Maya replied in a low tone, “there’s no one”

-

"What's up?”, Carina asked as soon as she closed the door behind them, already curious out of her mind, “why are you here full of bruises and cuts?”

“Oh, there was a minor explosion at the scene”, Andy explained superficially

“You say this like it is nothing”, Carina complained, remembering when Maya used to do the same back then while the doctor was completely worried, her face giving away the question she couldn’t bring herself to ask

“Yes, Carina, she was there, but she is fine”, Andy read through the lines

“Fine fine or firefighter fine?”, Carina questioned

“Broken arm fine”, Andy explained, making the doctor roll her eyes, “but she is already being taken care of by your friends”

“I hate firefighters”, Carina mumbled under her breath in an untruthful statement, “anyway, why did you want to talk to me in private?”

“I…”, Andy took a deep breath, “I think I might be pregnant”

-

“Okay, Bishop, I’m going back to work now”, Ben Warren announced as Maya was settled in the room in order to be kept under observation just like Miranda Bailey had asked, “I have no idea where Andy is, but I’ll text her you’re here so she can bring you stuff you may need”

“Thanks, Warren”, Maya showed her gratitude for her friend, “could you, hm…”

“Could I?”, Warren waited for the request

“Nevermind”, Maya dismissed her own words. She wanted to ask Warren to find Carina, to tell the doctor she was here, to see if she would care even in the slightest; however, she didn’t have the courage to do so.

-

“What do you mean you might be pregnant?”, Carina asked in surprise

“I haven't had my period in two months and every drugstore pregnancy test I’ve taken has been positive”, Andy said with a tiny smile on her face as her hands settled on her stomach

“Congratulations”, Carina expressed her happiness towards her friend, hugging her tightly 

“Thank you”, Andy replied, “today was the first time it hit me, you know? Because I was in danger and I started worrying something might have happened to the baby, so...can you run some tests? And can you help me, like in general? I mean, will you be my doctor?”

“Happily”, Carina agreed in a heartbeat

“Also, could you not tell anyone for now?”, Andy asked, as Carina just nodded her head yes

-

It was finally time for Carina to go home. Since she had barely eaten all day, she was dreaming of going to her favorite Italian restaurant and have her favorite dish. The OB/GYN finished changing and went to find her brother to see if he wanted to tag along. She found him standing at a nurse station, going through some charts completely worried about a patient of his, meaning he would not be going anywhere soon. Carina was a little bummed but there was nothing she could do; she was on her way to leave until she glanced to her side to see Maya laying on a hospital bed, her eyes fixated on the ceiling above her. There was only one thing Carina could do at that moment.

“May I come in?”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter Two

Maya reacted to Carina’s familiar voice instantly, her whole body turning to the door, causing her to hiss in pain due to her broken arm. Despite knowing the doctor would probably be at Grey Sloan, she could never imagine she would check on her. Carina could never imagine as well, her reaction of going over to the room being impulsed by past memories and feelings she couldn’t get rid of. She didn’t know if Maya would tell her to come in, if Maya would be happy to see her or if the firefighter would even acknowledge her at all, but now she couldn’t just turn back around and leave. 

“Yeah”, Maya finally answered, adjusting herself so she was sitting up straight in bed, “please, come in”

“I ran into Andy earlier”, Carina shared superficially, leaving out all the interaction they had actually had, “she said you only had a broken arm. What are you doing here?”

“It turns out I have a small bleeding in my abdomen as well, so Bailey wanted me to be kept under observation for 24 hours just to make sure”, Maya explained, her eyes never leaving Carina. Damn, did the doctor look beautiful. Maya started wondering if Andy had just randomly told the Italian about her state or if Carina had asked, if she had been worried; however, those were questions she might never have the answer to. 

“I see”, Carina understood, knowing these bleedings usually fixed themselves, “do you, hm, do you need anything? I mean, from your house?”

“Warren said he texted Andy to bring my stuff over”, Maya explained, a smile creeping on her lips as a reaction to Carina’s question, “she might be here any second now” 

“How long have you been waiting?”, Carina questioned

“About three hours”, Maya replied after looking at the clock on the wall. It made sense since Carina had finished her consultation with Andy just around 5:30 p.m and it was almost 9 o’clock now, but she should’ve already been there, “I don’t even have my phone. Did you know hospital rooms are the most boring places on Earth?”

Carina smiled at the way Maya expressed herself. The doctor pondered whether she should just leave since Maya already had all the help she would need and Andy would probably be there soon or if she should stay, keep the blonde company, make her less bored. Her decision probably wasn’t the smartest one. 

“I can stay here for a while”, Carina offered, walking over to the small sofa in order to sit down, “and if Andy doesn’t show up with your stuff, I can go over to your house myself”

“Carina, you don’t have to”, Maya said. Carina just ignored Maya’s words - she really didn’t have to, but she wanted to. The moments that followed were awkward. Neither one of them said a word although they had so much to talk about, to discuss, to understand, but this was neither the place or the time to do so. And, to be honest, if they really wanted to do it, they would’ve done it a long time ago - four months weren’t four days and they weren’t kids anymore. The ticking of the clock was making both of them lose their minds, their gazes weren’t on each other, their hands were sweating although it was cold. Until a sound was heard.

“Was that your stomach?”, Maya eyes shot up in surprise

“Yeah, sorry”, Carina affirmed in a little bit of shame, “I have barely eaten all day”

“You can go”, Maya told her and, as Carina was about to complain, she reassured the doctor, “Carina, go, I’m fine.”

The Italian doctor nodded her head in agreement. She made her way out of the room in silence before texting Andy to know where the hell she was, receiving a response she was  _ “five minutes away” _ , which made Carina feel a little more at ease. Nevertheless, she found the nurse in charge of the night shift and asked him to keep a close look at Maya and call her if anything happened, no matter what time it was. Meanwhile, as soon as Maya got her phone, she wondered if she should text Carina - a simple  _ “thank you for staying here with me” _ would hurt no one...unless it would. No texts were sent that night. 

-

“Bishop, you’re good to go”, Dr. Bailey announced after receiving the results of the firefighter’s last exams

“Oh, thank God, I can’t stay in the hospital bed one more second”, Maya stated seriously. She, who was known for being very active, had been doing nothing but alternating between watching series and sleeping for the past 24 hours, interrupted every now and then by someone checking on her.

“You also can’t go running back to fires and explosions”, Bailey continued, “you still have a broken arm after all. I need your friends’ word you will take it easy, at least for 10 days”

“Well, none of my friends are here, so my word will have to do it”, Maya uttered although she knew she would go back to rushing to scenes as soon as she stepped foot at the Station. What was the risk anyway? She was the captain, therefore she wasn’t going to run into fire anyways. Besides, paperwork was so, so boring.

“In case you’ve forgotten, I’m married to a firefighter”, Miranda Bailey knew she was lying, “your word means nothing”

“You have my word”, Carina DeLuca’s voice caught the women’s attention. The doctor was standing by the door, her arms crossed over her chest. Bailey’s eyes alternated between Maya and Carina; the general surgeon judged it strange for Carina to be there once she knew they were broken up, but she also knew that if there was one person in this world who could actually have an impact on Maya, this person was Carina, “I will make sure she takes it easy”

“Alright, then”, Dr. Bailey accepted, wanting to leave that awkwardness as soon as possible, “you take care, Bishop”

“You are going to make me take it easy?”, Maya's question was both challenging and out of surprise. The two had no contact, how was she going to manage to do that?

“No, Travis will”, Carina explained, her voice firm; her and Travis had become really good friends since they had a lot in common, “Andy and Vic will keep a close eye on you, I’m gonna make sure Ben is under Bailey’s orders to do the same and Jack and Miller...well, they’ll be there”

“Wow, sounds like you’ve got everything figured out”, Maya’s comment was a bit ironic, making Carina scoff.

“I’m glad you’re well, Maya”, Carina’s tone carried a bit of anger. She had both feet out of the door when she heard Maya’s voice

“Wait”, Maya said, “thank you”

-

“You’ve got a perfectly healthy baby”, Carina announced. After running all the possible tests there are, Andy was back at Carina’s office five days later with the results.

“Is it a boy or a girl?”, Andy questioned curiously

“It’s too early to tell”, Carina replied, “have you told Robert?”

“Yep, like two days ago. He almost fainted”, Andy shared, laughing a bit at the memory of her husband discovering he would be a father, “we’re going to break the news to everyone in a near future. And after we do, there’s going to be a small party just to celebrate. Not the baby shower, just a party, and you’re invited.”

“And Maya? Is she taking care?”, Carina tried to be nonchalantly, but failed miserably as her face gave it all away

“Yes, so you can imagine how pleasant it is to be around her these days”, Andy responded ironically since her friend was known to be a pain in the ass when she was being taken care of and when she couldn’t do her job properly, which was the case; Carina just smiled, “could I ask you something? It’s very personal”

“Sure, go ahead”, Carina replied. Although her and Andy were not the best of friends, they were somewhat close and the Italian’s life was basically an open book, so she didn’t think much of it.

“You and Maya, what happened?”, Andy asked sweetly. Her friend had never given her the entire scoop as to why her and the doctor had broken up, just throwing random pieces of information around, which were very difficult to put together. She didn’t want to put Carina against the wall, but she wanted to know, mostly because she wanted to know if maybe they could get back together once she thought Carina was the best thing to have happened in Maya’s life.

“Do you know where the party's gonna be?”, Carina completely dismissed the question. In the doctor’s mind, the answer was pretty clear: Maya was a selfish idiot, but she couldn’t say that to the blonde’s best friend. However, the answer was not that simple.

A lot was always said about how Maya had trouble with relationships and commitment; what was rarely talked about was Carina’s problems of the same kind. All throughout their relationship, they learned how to deal with it and to grow together up until a certain point. When talking about the future, they had different views. Maya liked to have her life planned, to have a stable job and a predictable routine, that hadn’t changed - she liked her life just the way it was, and Carina by her side only made it better. On the other hand, Carina’s free spirit hadn’t just flown away; when the doctor thought about the future, she still wanted to travel to other places, to live in different cultures, to be adventurous - and she wanted to take Maya with her. The more there types of conversation happened, the more misunderstandings they had. Carina thought Maya was selfish not to give up a little bit of control in order to be together - the firefighter could always find a job wherever they went; Maya thought Carina was selfish not to consider her feelings when deciding about the future as well as to not settle down since she had everything right there in Seattle. 

“No not yet”, Andy understood the message and decided not to push it, “probably our place, it's not gonna be many people. By the way, I don’t accept no as an answer to my invitation”

“Then I guess my answer is yes”, Carina replied, her mind bringing back memories she fought hard to erase.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a little bit more idea where im going with this yay
> 
> also, less than 2 weeks and we have station19 and greys back i think i might kill someone if they do carina poorly


	3. Chapter Three

Carina felt like she couldn’t breathe. As she drove home that night, her tearful eyes were a hindrance to her driving, her shaky hands could barely grip the steering wheel, the song she herself put on was driving her insane. “ _ Merda, merda, merda”,  _ she cursed to herself; why couldn’t she just forget Maya? Why couldn’t she just let her go, especially after their last days together? The memories. Oh, the memories. She remembered the good days all to well, she remembered the kisses, the holding of hands, the showers together, the insanely good sex; nevertheless, she also remembered the bad, the hurtful and, more specifically, the arguments.

_ “Maya, this is who I am”, Carina’s voice raised with a bit of rage, “I like to travel around the world, to meet new people, to live in different places” _

_ “Guess what, Carina?”, Maya’s tone matched her girlfriend’s as she paced around the room, “this is who I am too. I have a life here, a good one. Why would I want to give that up?” _

_ “Then you’re willing to give us up?”, Carina asked, not even realizing she wasn’t being fair _

_ “No, you do not get to do this. You do not get to blame me for it”, Maya stood her grounds, “if you don’t wanna stay here with me, why should I want to move with you?” _

_ “You can find a job literally anywhere we go”, Carina tried the argument one more time, “and I’m sure the streets around the world are fit for running” _

_ “Why do you need this anyway?”, Maya questioned, “you’ve got everything you need here in Seattle. Why can’t you just commit to it?” _

_ “You, of all people, wanna talk about commitment?”, Carina was ironic, “for the first months of our relationship, I had to run after you like a needy dog. When we were just about to get serious, you slept with your ex-boyfriend. Does that sound like commitment to you?” _

_ “Wow, playing the cheating card. Why didn’t you just break up with me back then? Just so you could throw it in my face the first chance you got?”, Maya’s eyes were tearful, her voice back to being low, “I’m not perfect, Carina, but guess what? As much as you like to think so, neither are you. I’m not the only one here with a crappy father. All this moving around you do is nothing but a way to try to prove to yourself you are independent, because that’s all you thought you needed to be growing up” _

_ “I’m sorry, last time I checked you were a firefighter, not a psychologist”, Carina tried to pretend as if Maya’s words hadn’t had an impact on her, “but this is a fun game, miss “I must have control over every single thing in my life so I am mad my toaster is an inch to the left of where it is supposed to be” _

_ “You know what?”, Maya asked rhetorically, “I’m gonna sleep on the couch tonight” _

_ “No, you sleep in your bed”, Carina stated, “I’m gonna go to a hotel” _

Carina went straight to the kitchen when she opened her flat’s door, finding herself a bottle of wine and not even bothering to go after glasses. She sat on the sofa and tried to clear her head; as the taste of alcohol filled her mouth, she couldn’t help the tears falling from her eyes.

-

Andy tried to keep her pregnancy a secret for as long as she could, but she was just too happy. A week later, everyone already knew about it, and they were all excited for her. The firefighter wanted to give this baby the best family it could have, with nothing but unconditional love. Her working situation was something she would have to figure out later, but as of now she found herself at the station knowing very well her friends were organizing something for her in the beanery since Miller was trying to stall her. And she was right. When he finally let her walk there, there were many balloons of all different colors, a well-served meal as well as a delicious looking cake. Robert Sullivan was already there, a smile from cheek to cheek. Many congratulations were said, grape juice being drunk as if it were wine at 3p.m on a Wednesday. It was all fun until Maya excused herself in order to go to her office, nobody thinking much of it once she did usually have a lot of paperwork to do on a daily basis; however, Vic could tell from the captain’s face that something wasn’t right.

“Are you alright there?”, Vic asked, entering the captain’s office to find Maya sitting on her chair staring vaguely ahead

“Today was supposed to be mine and Carina’s one year and six months anniversary”, Maya didn’t hold back the information; Vic approached her friend, sitting down on the chair opposite her. 

“You still love her, don’t you?”, Vic questioned sweetly and carefully

“Does it matter anyway?”, Maya’s answer to the yes or no question was another question

“It’s the only thing that matters”, Vic replied simply, surely not hoping the reaction her captain had. Maya just started crying, simply, hard. In the past months, whenever the day of their anniversary came by, she would feel emotional and have a crappy time; however, it had never hit her this hard. Maybe it was because she had ran into Carina again, talked to her; the doctor showed her that she still cared, that she would still be there if Maya needed her despite everything that had gone down. Vic had seen Maya cry only once before, but never with such vulnerability; her only reaction was to hold the blonde tight. After a while, when Maya finally calmed herself down a bit, Vic spoke again, “don’t you think it would do you well to talk to her?”

“We hurt each other, Vic”, Maya explained, opening up more about the break up, “we said things we shouldn’t have, rude things”

“And you left things at that?”, Vic questioned, trying to get a little more out of Maya

“And we left things at that”, Maya affirmed, “and, to be honest, I think it’s better to let this scar heal than to reopen it” 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just saw the promo pics for 4x07 so i'm gonna cry on a corner until march 18th see ya


	4. Chapter Four

That’s what Maya tried to do, she tried to heal the scar Carina had left on her. Thing is, some miles away, Carina was trying to do the same. In this scenario, there wasn’t someone who was 100% right or wrong; they both had done and said things that caused the end of their relationship and, more than that, the end of them altogether. All the conversations they had had after the breakup were superficial and awkward and, as time passed, basically non-existent. They were on the right path to finally get over each other - or so they thought.

Andy had promised everyone a party to celebrate her pregnancy; however, as time passed by and with all the things she still had to figure out about having the baby, the said party became her baby shower since she was already 6 months pregnant. The woman had chosen Maya to be the godmother, which caused her to eventually keep Andy company when the had an appointment with Carina and Robert, for whatever reason, couldn’t be there - that was the most contact Maya and Carina had during those months; and that is if you could even call staying outside the doctor’s office while your friend is getting checked up contact. Other than that, the two were back to being strangers, although strangers didn’t have the history they did.

-

It was around 4:30 p.m on a Friday evening when the guests started arriving at Andy and Robert’s place. Because it had been raining all week long in Seattle, they were forced to hold the shower inside this reducing the number of people invited, which was good in a way since it was less of a nightmare to find a day everyone could attend. The decorations were beautifully done, and the yellow as the color of choice would give any stranger a hard time knowing the couple was having a baby girl. Maya was standing in a corner, silently drinking beer while she looked around, until Carina approached her. The doctor didn’t want to make things weird or uncomfortable, she just wanted to be polite and say hi.

“I like what you did to your hair”, Carina commented after saying hello; Maya had let it grow middle-length and died it a bit darker

“Thanks”, Maya replied a bit coldly, more as a defense mechanism than anything else

“Is that your new boyfriend?”, Carina asked carefully not to sound as if she was invading the firefighter’s space; her eyes focused on a tall, strong man who she noticed had arrived with Maya and was now talking to some people across the room

“That’s Mike”, Maya shared, although it didn’t really answer Carina’s question

“I see”, Carina said nonchalantly, not being able to hold back the comment that followed, “Mike. You know, my cousin had a dog named Mike when we were young”

Although she probably didn’t mean it as something harsh or disrespectful, Maya rolled her eyes and left the doctor standing alone. After that, they were back to trying to pretend as if the other didn’t exist, focusing all their attention on the other people present. Carina knew no one other than the Station 19 crew, which would make her feel a bit out of place weren’t it for Travis Montgomery, her dear friend with whom she still talked very often. She considered him to be one of the best people she had ever met, and they hit it off really well from the first time they met. He was the person she was talking to when her eyes fixated on Maya and Mike talking closely. Carina knew she didn’t have the right to judge who Maya dated, to be jealous of Maya, but she couldn’t help it, not when the firefighter was apparently seeing a dull, fit guy whose brain might as well have been eaten by gym weights. Carina excused herself and followed to the restroom to take a deep breath, judging it better than to storm off pissed at something she shouldn’t have been and catching everyone’s attention. Her action didn’t go unnoticed. 

“Hm, hi?!”, Carina said when she noticed Maya going in with her before locking the door to secure them inside

“Stop it”, Maya demanded, looking Carina straight into the eyes

“Stop what exactly?”, the doctor questioned, surprised

“Stop looking at me like that”, Maya continued, “like you’d punch Mike in the face at any given chance, like you’re jealous, like...like you still love me”

“That’s specific”, Carina tried to play it cool

“You don’t have this right, Carina”, Maya stated, “we’ve been over for like 8 months now”

“You’re right”, Carina breathed in deeply, fully aware that she wasn’t being fair to Maya and keeping up this behavior would only do more harm, so she decided to come clean, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I know I don’t have the right to judge who you date or to be jealous but then I saw you with this guy named Mike who asked me if Italy is in South America, for God’s sake, and then I...I don’t know, I’m sorry”

“Is this your way of trying to tell me something?”, Maya questioned politely, knowing Carina all to well to understand that this was probably just the tip of the iceberg for her

“Could we talk somewhere else?”, Carina pleaded, knowing Andy’s restroom was not the ideal place for the conversation she had apparently just built the courage to ask Maya to have.

The two women left the baby shower together, trying to catch as little attention as possible, taking advantage from the fact that everyone was too involved in a story Andy was telling. However, she was the one who noticed them sneaking out. They took Carina’s car since she hadn’t drunk, Mike long forgotten - he was a big boy, Maya was sure he would be able to find his way home by himself. The car ride was silent, awkward, uncomfortable. Carina drove them to her own flat, opening the door for Maya to get in and guiding her to the couch.

“Would you like something to drink?”, Carina offered

“No, I’m good, thanks”, Maya denied, sitting down on the sofa, Carina doing the same by her side

“So, how do you feel about having a goddaughter?”, Carina asked in an attempt to make small talk

“I feel like Andy is completely out of her mind to trust me with that”, Maya answered honestly and seriously, making Carina smile, “you have seen my with kids, it’s not pretty”

“I’m moving to Switzerland”, Carina blurted out, unable to contain that information within herself any longer, “in three months”

"You are?!", Maya said, in surprise to both the information and the fact that Carina was telling her that

“Yeah, and I know you’re probably wondering what you have to do with it and honestly I don’t know. The only thing I know is that I needed to talk to you, because I hate the way we left things and I hate the way we are right now, so…”, Carina took a deep breath before continuing, “I’m sorry, Maya. I’m sorry for saying and doing things that hurt you, you did not deserve that. You were the best relationship I ever had and by far the best person I’ve ever met in my entire life, and I blame myself every single day for doing you so poorly and so wrong. I hope you find it in you to forgive me someday. And I hope you find someone who makes you happy, treats you right and loves you deeply and please, oh please someone who knows basic geography”

“Carina”, Maya said after letting everything sink in, chuckling at how Carina had been affected by Mike’s lack of knowledge of such basic thing, “I’m not gonna pretend like you didn’t hurt me, because you did; but I’m also not gonna be a hypocrite and say that it’s all your fault. I also screwed up and I’m positive I ended up hurting you too, so I’m sorry as well. Also, I promise you I’m only gonna date people who know Italy is in...Asia, I wanna say?”

“You’re the worst”, Carina rolled her eyes, but the smile on her face was present; she could sense her eyes getting a bit teary, “really, Maya, I’m sorry”

“Hey, it’s fine”, Maya guaranteed, carefully reaching for Carina’s hand, “we’re fine”

“Are you really telling me this is all the conversation we needed to have had eight months ago?”, Carina questioned in disbelief, enjoying the warmth of Maya’s hand on hers

“Well, eight months ago it wouldn’t have gone this well, we needed this time to process things”, Maya stated matter-of-factly, “so, Switzerland, huh?”

“Yeah”, Carina smiled, “they are gonna give me funds for my study and the job pays really well”

“Good thing then, I can tell you’re in real need of money”, Maya joked, hoping it was not too soon, finally noticing how freaking fancy Carina’s flat was; the way the doctor stared at her in fake disapproval all too familiar, “are you happy?”

“I am, yes”, Carina replied, squeezing Maya’s hand gently as a thank you sign

“Then I’m happy too”, Maya uttered, pulling the doctor close in order to give her a tight hug

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was such a difficult chapter for me to write wtf i feel like i lost all my brain cells


	5. Chapter Five

**Chapter Five**

Carina told Maya all about the job and the city she would be moving to, the excitement in her voice impossible to miss; Maya listened attentively to every word, not missing the opportunity to ask questions whenever she felt curious about a particular topic. Although the firefighter did not stay long, Carina found time to give her a full tour of her flat, which made Maya’s apartment look indeed like a shack and caused her to wonder how Carina had never complained about it. The doctor insisted on giving Maya a ride home, but the blonde opted to take an Uber. All throughout the way home, Maya kept thinking about how much she enjoyed that they were back on good terms, that they had finally managed to grow past misunderstandings, that Carina was happy, and so was she. She had to admit, however, that knowing Carina would soon be moving across the ocean was not one of the best news she had received.

-

Andy called Maya early in the morning to invite the captain for a pre-work breakfast, mostly because she was wondering what the scene she had witnessed the day before had led to. Nowadays, Andy found herself limited to desk jobs but she refused to stop working until she absolutely had to, which was not the case just yet. She chose a cozy café just outside their neighborhood based solely on the fact they were supposed to have the greatest pancakes, and Maya couldn’t argue with a pregnant woman. 

“Are you sure you don’t want a bite?”, Andy offered once again, the syrup dripping from the pile of pancakes in front of her making Maya scrunch her face in a bit of disgust

“One hundred percent positive”, the blonde replied; she had limited herself to coffee and an açai bowl of some sort, claiming it was the healthiest option on their menu

“Robert took Mike home yesterday”, Andy commented nonchalantly, finally introducing the topic she actually wanted to talk about

“Yeah, about that, I’m sorry”, Maya apologized, thinking of an excuse on the spot, “I wasn’t feeling very well so I had to leave. I will text Mike later”

“I think your only text to him should be a breakup one, but that’s something I’ll judge you for later”, Andy said, wondering where Maya had found someone so dull and stupid, “Carina also left early yesterday, she didn’t even say goodbye”

“I wouldn’t know”, Maya lied managing to keep a perfectly straight face

“Oh, cut the crap, I saw you two sneaking out together”, Andy uttered, “what was that about?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”, Maya took a sip of her coffee to keep her lie as casual as possible

“Maya, I’m almost 7 months pregnant, my hormones are all over the place, I pee all the time, I have to do desk jobs while I see you guys going out on the field, I haven’t slept properly in weeks, my husband promised to paint the baby’s room last month and he hasn’t even bought the paint yet, you do not want to mess with me”, Andy’s voice was firm and bit threatening, “I know you left with Carina and I want all the details”

“We went to her place”, Maya shared the truth as if it was no big deal, but felt the need to complement it when she saw the look on her friend’s face, “to talk. We went to her place to talk”

“Talking? That’s it?”, Andy questioned in disbelief

“Yeah, it’s something we needed to do. We’re fine now”, Maya gave her friend a bit more details, “she’s moving to Switzerland”

“How do you feel about that?”, Andy asked carefully. She already knew about it; in fact, she had been the one to tell Carina to travel only after she delivered her baby otherwise she would be a dead woman; she had also hoped that taking longer to do it would make her want to not do it

“She says she is happy, so I’m happy”, Maya concluded logically, although deep down she knew it had hurt her

“For the love of God, Maya, you’re literally letting the love of your life fly away”, Andy was tired of pretending she didn’t want the two of them to get back together 

“She wants to explore the world”, Maya explained simply, “I’m not going to be the one to stop her from doing so”

“This is so mature of you, I hate it”, Andy complained when, in reality, she was very proud of how far her best friend had come with this entire relationship thing, “although...you do like cold weather quite a bit”

“I’m not moving to Switzerland, Andy”, Maya was quick to erase whatever idea was going through her friend’s head

“Fine, whatever”, Andy gave up, “but next time you bring someone who asks me if I’m from Brazil because I speak spanish to a party of mine, I’m rooting for you to die alone”

-

Finding a way to begin again requires bravery, but Maya and Carina were two of the bravest women there is. While Carina started arranging everything early not to have any problems, she felt both anxious and happy to take on a new adventure, to explore a country she had been dying to go to forever, to be a little closer to home. Meanwhile, Maya was having breakthroughs at her job - with the run for Chief open, everything she had ever fought for was about to have the perfect outcome as she was one of the strongest candidates; more than that, being a soon-to-be godmother gave her a nice chill on the spine, making her eager to discover all the wonderfulness of the position she had been put on.

New beginnings mean new experiences, new people, new things, new selves, and they happen for everyone, whether silently, day after day, small action after small action or like an explosion, in milliseconds. There is always a new beginning. The thing is, more often than not, they lead people who used to be close to different, distant paths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why do i feel like you're all plotting my death  
> anyways  
> see ya


	6. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six**

Andrew had been supportive of his sister from moment one, ever since she told him about her desire to move again. Throughout the years, especially the ones she lived in Seattle, their relationship grew substantially and, although he was sad Carina was leaving, he understood how important this was for her, helping the woman with every last detail. With the moving date approaching at a fast pace, he wanted to spend as much time as possible with her. That’s why he called inviting the OB/GYN for dinner that night at his place; an invitation that was well-accepted once he promised to cook her favorite pasta meal.

“Have you closed the deal on that flat yet?”, Andrew questioned. The initial plan for Carina was to get a hotel for at least the first month and then look for a place to live while she was already there; however, she was mindlessly googling some places there when she saw a terrific flat and absolutely fell in love with it, contacting the number informed right away and negotiating a good deal after some tours held on video-calls. 

“Just closed it today”, Carina happily informed her brother, hiding her anxiety over the fact that having closed on the place made going to Switzerland a hundred times more real.

“What is the deal with you and flats anyways?”, Andrew was intrigued. In fact, Carina had always lived in flats and the general surgeon knew his sister had more than enough money to splurge on a mansion if she wanted.

“I like them”, she replied simply, shrugging her shoulders as she took a sip of her wine

“What about that annoying woman you were seeing, have you broken up with her yet?”, Andrew asked hopefully, “and if not, please do. I beg you”

“Actually, she ended things with me”, Carina revealed, making Andrew widen his eyes, “according to her, I was always prioritizing my job over her. We had been seeing each other for less than a month.”

“That’s the universe saving you from a lifetime of misery”, Andrew stated, he really couldn’t stand the woman; truthfully, ever since her and Maya had split up, he couldn’t stand anyone Carina as much as hooked up with, judging they weren’t good enough for his big sister, “by the way, I saw Maya dropping off a patient today at the hospital.”

“Perfect timing for this topic, huh?”, Carina said ironically, realizing how her brother had mentioned Maya just after complaining about her past...lover? Girlfriend? Booty-call? Hook up? Whatever that woman was.

“I’m just saying”, Andrew played it cool. The guy was crazy about Maya and he knew she was the only one who could make his sister truly happy, “I don’t think there’s a Maya Bishop in Switzerland”

“Can we just not?”, Carina demanded more than pleaded. She knew her brother was right, but that wasn’t a road she was willing to go down just days before catching a plane. 

-

Maya’s phone started ringing non-stop, forcing the woman to wake up and search for it solely following the sound once she couldn’t bring herself to open her eyes. “ _ What?”, _ she mumbled sleepily, not even checking the number and already pissed at whoever was calling her at this ungodly hour, a feeling that changed the moment she heard the reason for the call.

It was 2:37 a.m when Maya rushed through the door of Grey-Sloan, discovering she was the first one there and proud of how fast she had gotten there. The firefighter was directed to the waiting area near to the room Andy was giving birth in, sitting down and waiting for everyone else to arrive. All the Station 19 crew joined her moments later, throwing themselves on the chairs close to Maya and, as Travis said, “ _ just resting their eyes a bit” _ . Maya understood them being tired because she herself was once their shift had been pretty agitated.

“I love Andy, but couldn’t she have given birth at, I don’t know, 3 in the afternoon?”, Vic complained, resting her head on Maya’s shoulder and closing her eyes

“This might take a while, so I’m gonna go to Miranda’s office and take a nap”, Ben Warren announced shamelessly, knowing that the couch there was far more comfortable than those chairs, “give me a call once the baby is born”

It indeed took a while; nevertheless, if compared to other births, it was an extremely fast delivery, meaning Andy was a very lucky woman. The clock showed only 5:23 a.m when Carina left the room, letting everyone know that both the mamma and the baby were fine, everything had gone perfectly and they were free to go inside and pay Andy, Robert and their babygirl a visit. While the firefighters did that, Jack calling Warren as they went inside, Carina followed to the nurses’ station in order to update Andy’s chart and leave it complete for the doctor who was taking it over, judging it strange when she looked up and saw that Maya had left the room so fast while everyone else was still inside.

“How is the newest godmother doing?”, Carina caught the blonde’s attention, still focusing on the chart she was filling when Maya approached her

“Ready to spoil the kid and drive Andy crazy”, Maya joked, making Carina smile; her body language, however, was very easy for the doctor to ready

“You’re nervous”, Carina stated; she knew how to ready Maya’s signs all to well

“No. I mean, yes, but it’s not about that…”, Maya stuttered her words a little, not even trying to lie and recalling a small conversation they had had a while before as they waited for a late Andy to arrive at the consult, “remember I told you I was in the run for Chief? Well, the decision was made yesterday and they are letting the new Chief know today at 7 a.m before announcing it to everyone else...for whatever reason”

“Wanna go to the attendings’ lounge?”, Carina offered, thinking it would be a better place for Maya to relax until then, “there is a fairly comfortable couch and an okay coffee”

“Isn’t that for doctors only?”, Maya was worried they would be breaking some kind of hospital policy, but Carina just ignored her and led the way. Truth to be told, they were breaking some type of rule, but the doctor couldn’t care less about that - it was her last day there therefore whatever punishment she may get would be senseless. Luckily for them, the place was empty due to the fact that, at those hours, the doctors who weren’t busy with patients were sleeping in the on-call rooms around the hospital. There was a possibility that, with the change of shifts to happen soon, the lounge would fill up quickly, but that was a risk Carina was willing to take.

“When are you going?”, Maya asked as she sat down on the couch, Carina walking over to the coffee machine to pour coffee for both of them

“If I’m lucky, today even”, Carina handed Maya her cup of coffee before sitting down beside her, “I got one of those flexible tickets or whatever they are called because I was literally just waiting for Andy to have her baby, so I just need to book it really”

“Yeah, she would’ve hunted you down if you didn’t deliver her baby”, Maya commented, causing Carina to nod her head in agreement. The other firefighter had been very specific about her desire for Carina to be her doctor until that baby was out of her; and, in a way, the more time the OB/GYN spent in Seattle, the more shots her and Maya would have at being together. At least that was what Andy thought. For the next hour, they talked about random topics, Carina’s main goal being to take Maya’s head off of the news she was waiting for; the doctor knew how much the captain craved that position, how much she had fought for it and just how much she deserved it. During the time they were together, Carina had a front-row seat view of the dedication Maya put into her job, and she admired her for it. 

When Maya’s phone rang, the world almost stopped. The firefighter took a deep breath before reaching for it, Carina’s hand finding hers out of habit, almost exploding with anxiety while Maya read whatever it was that her phone showed silently.

“I’m chief? I’m chief! Carina, I’m chief”, Maya couldn’t contain her excitement and her happiness; the official announcement would be made that day still. Maya threw her arms around Carina, pulling the doctor in for a tight hug.

“You deserve it, Maya”, Carina said truthfully, reciprocating a hug she knew could be their last one. Maya slowly let go, but didn’t move away from Carina; her blue eyes shifting from the doctor’s eyes to the doctor’s lips

“This isn’t smart”, Carina uttered matter-of-factly, completely aware of Maya’s gaze whereas she herself could only think about how much she missed the feeling of Maya’s lips on hers.

“Not in the slightest”, Maya agreed. An agreement that was purely words, because one second later her mouth was on Carina’s, one hand on the doctor’s neck as the other one simply ran up and down her back. Carina didn’t pull away; much on the contrary, she pulled her even closer, deepening the kiss as their mouths moved in perfect syntony, enjoying the familiarity of each other’s lips. It wasn’t until they were fully breathless that they stopped, their eyes meeting again, Carina’s thumb running across Maya’s bottom lip.

“You’re really going”, Maya commented - not in an accusatory way, or trying to make Carina feel guilty for it, just in a way she could make sense of what was happening.

“And you’re finally chief”, Carina replied, closing her eyes when she felt Maya’s soft kiss on her forehead

“I should go”, Maya said, but took a while to do so, her eyes purely focused on Carina’s as nothing else in the world mattered. The firefighter slowly got up, making her way to leave but stopping at the door, “Carina, I…”

She wanted to say that she loved Carina; again, not in a way to get the doctor to stay or any of that. It was simply to express her feelings, that was that. Carina was still the only person she had ever loved, that she had ever let herself be loved by...she was the love of her life, there was no denying that. She also wanted to say thank you for everything, for all the time they spent together. Maya wanted to wish the doctor good luck at the same time she wanted to say she would miss her. She wanted to say so many things, and was not sure how many of them would fit in an  _ “I love you”. _

“I know”, Carina smiled, perfectly understanding the other woman’s hesitation as it was her own, “I do, too”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh hello there  
> if you are reading this and not calling me names, thank you  
> if you are reading this and calling me names, i dont judge you
> 
> situation goes like this  
> \- i really wanna finish this fic before the new episodes start to air. I don't know if i'll be able to because my life is gonna start being crazy again but either way expect fast updates
> 
> \- i'm literally creating this fic as i go so i have as much idea of what will happen as you
> 
> random comment: wayhaught is finally back i think i might die


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a short chapter to introduce the next half of the story i guess

**Chapter Seven**

Carina walked in the plane with her heart in her hand. Just for a moment, she wished she were in the one episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S in which Phoebe is able to delay a whole flight due to an unexisting left phalange; this way, she could another chance to think things through for one last time. However, her life was not a sitcom from the 90’s. She wanted this badly, yet deep down she was scared of having made the wrong decision. All she could do at the moment, nevertheless, was close her eyes and enjoy the perks of a first-class seat on an international flight. 

Meanwhile, during her first day on the job, Maya was washed over with a feeling of accomplishment she never even thought was possible. Being in the position of chief was something she had fought for her entire career, and to know that this time around all her friends supported her and were happy for her was heartwarming. The sad part was that the one person she immensely wanted to share her happiness with was flying somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean at that moment. 

After that, though, life kind of just kept going. Carina was too busy with having to settle down in a new city while working long shifts at a new hospital. Despite all her worries, she had been adapting pretty well as the flat was comfortable, the neighborhood was calm, Zurich was a beautiful city and all her colleagues were polite and friendly. Of course, there were some things she didn’t really enjoy, like the fact that it was just too cold all the time and the time difference from Seattle was insane, which complicated getting in touch with everyone there, but she thought it was just a matter of getting used to. As for Maya, with a bigger job came bigger responsibilities, which consumed most of her time, in and out of the station. When she was not occupied being a kickass chief, she was too busy being an incredible godmother. Little Luna was now almost two months old and looked just a little too much like her father, much to Andy’s despair. The woman still hadn’t gone back to work, claiming she wanted to spend as much time as possible with her daughter as Robert had reduced his shifts in order to do the same. Maya would come over mostly when Robert wasn’t at home only so that Andy wouldn’t be alone. In fact, that’s where she found herself at the moment, at Andy and Robert’s place, rocking Luna back and forth in her arms to successfully make her stop crying.

“How are you so good with her? God!”, Andy half-complained; she was actually happy the blonde had managed to make the baby stop crying as she was too tired of trying to do so herself

“She just likes me”, Maya commented, switching to her baby-voice to address the small human she was holding, “you do, you like me, I’m the best godmother in the world”

“Yeah, that still creeps me out a little”, Andy admitted; she still wasn’t fully used to the soft godmother version of Maya, “anyways, Vic told me she gave you the number of this super nice woman. Have you called her yet?”

“Nope, too busy”, Maya simply replied, still totally focused on the baby in her arms

“Oh God, you’re already your old self again”, Andy stated, causing Maya to stare at her with raised eyebrows, “burrying yourself in work, running two thousand miles a day, against monogamy, except this time you’re not even having casual sex.”

“I’ll let you know I had sex just last week”, Maya shared, she just didn’t share it was sex with herself, “besides, being chief requires a lot of dedication, I run because I like to and I’m not against monogamy, I’m just not practicing it”

“You’re building a barrier not to show you’re sad about Carina leaving for good”, Andy stated seriously, taking Luna off of Maya’s arm to put her in the crib

“You seem to forget me and Carina broke up like a year ago”, Maya said, “I’m way past the being sad stage, I’m in the having already gotten over her state”

“Except you’re still completely in love with her”, Andy affirmed, “and while she was still here, you thought you guys still had a shot. Now that she is gone, you’re sure it’s over, therefore you’re sad. Besides, something happened between you two the day Luna was born that you still won’t tell me about”

“How on Earth are you so sure something happened between us before she left?”, Maya challenged her friend

“Because there is only one person in this entire world that leaves you as flustered as you were that day”, Andy stated, “and that person, my friend, is doctor Carina DeLuca”

Maya changed the topic quickly. As much as she knew her friend was utterly right, this wasn’t something she wanted to admit. So what if she was back to being workaholic? There was no problem in that. And she could have casual sex again if she wanted to...she just didn’t. Also, monogamy was fine, just not for her anymore; her only shot at that was accross the ocean, making new descoveries and probably meeting new people.

Indeed, Carina was accross the ocean making new discoveries. For starters, she discovered that Switzerland had breathtaking landscapes by the mountains where it was possible to camp, even though it would be freezing cold outside the cabins and one would have to wear four pounds of clothes to be the slighest bit warm. There was one person to whom her mind ran to when she discovered such thing, the person who loved camping and cold and mountains; the one person who could possibly get her to live such adventure and not complain the entire time - and that person was in Seattle running an entire Station.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the 11th is almost here im dying


	8. Chapter Eight

**Chapter Eight**

Maya was only supposed to be at work at 10 a.m to start her shift the next day; however, the clock had barely hit 7 o’clock when she stepped foot in the station. No one from her crew was there yet, which was more than understandable. The chief just walked to her office and started going through some paperwork; out of the blue, Andy’s words from the night before started echoing in her head. Had she really closed herself off completely after Carina? Was she back to being so work-centered the “eyes forward all the time” thing was back into her life? Could she ever love again? “ _ Oh, don’t go down that road”, _ she thought to herself. The thing is she never really looked for Carina, she didn’t force herself to love her. Carina just happened; and their love just happened in a manner neither one of them knew how to explain. Maya doubted something like this would happen again, especially to someone like her. But shouldn’t she at least try? The growl of her stomach stopped her mind from running wilder and forced her to get up in order to find herself some food; the face she saw into the beanery surely not a familiar one around the station.

“Baby DeLuca”, Maya caught the man’s attention, “what are you doing here?”

“Didn’t love being called that when you were dating my sister, don’t love it now”, Andrew mumbled, “waiting for Warren, actually. He said he wanted to talk to me”

“And then you decided to steal our food”, Maya stated when he saw the man shamelessly taking something out of the fridge 

“Well, I haven’t had breakfast yet”, Andrew shrugged it off simply, “congratulations on being chief, by the way. You deserve it”

“Thank you”, Maya replied with a smile, finding something to eat herself and joining Andrew on the table, “how have you been? I feel like we haven’t seen each other in forever”

“Right?”, Andrew agreed; they had an extremely friendly relationship back then, but it somehow just faded away, “I’ve been fine, working crazy shifts at Grey-Sloan. If Carina were here, she would be pissed at me by now”

“How is she by the way?”, Maya didn’t try to sound nonchalantly at all, she wanted to know

“She’s Carina”, Andrew answered as if it were enough for Maya to understand; what he really meant is that they both knew Carina would most likely adapt well anywhere in the world she went. Moreover, the mention of his sister’s name by Andrew wasn’t just out of the blue; it was a way for him to see how Maya would react, if she would ask anything about her, just so he could say this one sentence, “you should give her a call, she will be happy to hear from you”

“She will?”, Maya questioned more rhetorically than directed at her ex-brother-in-law

As if planned perfectly, Warren walked in just before Andrew had the chance to even open his mouth, cutting the topic short and stealing the doctor away. 

-

At that time, in Europe, Carina was opening the door to her flat after an entire day fully dedicated to her research, which was shaping up nicely. She threw her things wherever and went straight to the kitchen in order to open a bottle of wine. In all her years moving around the world, this was the first time she deeply missed her past home - she missed being close to Andrea, she missed listening to her friends’ craziness, she missed having a shoulder to cry on whenever she needed to, she missed Grey-Sloan, she missed being in the same timezone as the people she loved the most. And all of that wasn’t because she felt misplaced in Zurich; she actually had made a couple of friends already and one of the guys at the hospital had even asked her out. Nevertheless, the sense of familiarity she had in Seattle was still missing here, and she hated it, because she had always been able to adapt so well, so fast 

The doctor went to sleep that night with an unknown tightness in her chest.

-

Maya got home that night thinking about what her ex-brother-in-law had said to her. Would Carina really be glad to hear from her or was Andrew just messing with her? No, he wouldn’t do that. Would he? She sat on the couch and stared at her phone for some good minutes, considering what to do. In a moment of pure courage, she facetimed Carina. Every second she waited for the other woman to either pick up or decline her call making her sweat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like this chapter could have been better but eh sorry
> 
> two things:  
> \- new episodes in 48 hours im so excited  
> \- i hear maya will be jealous of carina in 4x08?????


	9. Chapter Nine

**Chapter Nine**

_ “Hi”,  _ Carina’s sleepy voice was music to Maya’s ears; only half of the doctor’s face appeared on the screen as it was buried in the pillow, her hair a mess, her eyes almost closed

_ “Hi! Were you sleeping?”,  _ Maya questioned, a sense of relief due to the fact that she hadn’t been ignored

_ “Kind of. It’s like 4 in the morning here”,  _ Carina explained; the fact that they were in different timezones didn’t cross Maya’s head for the briefest moment 

_ “Crap, I didn’t consider the time difference”,  _ Maya revealed, feeling very stupid,  _ “I’m so sorry, I’m gonna hang up” _

_ “No, don’t” _ , Carina pleaded in the middle of an yawn; it felt good to see a familiar face, especially that day,  _ “I like that you called” _

_ “How are things there?”,  _ Maya smiled, but still wondered if Carina had said the last bit because she was sleepy or because she actually meant it

_ “Cold”,  _ the doctor stated simply, her eyes closing involuntarily 

_ “You hate cold”,  _ Maya commented as if it were something Carina didn’t know, regretting it the minute the words left her mouth

_ “That I do”,  _ Carina mumbled in agreement, opening her eyes again,  _ “and how is being chief?” _

_ “A dream come true, honestly”,  _ Maya replied, admiring how cute Carina looked and feeling bad for not having the courage to hang up and let the woman sleep, “ _ hey, listen to this: Luna is obsessed with me, I can always make her giggle” _

_ “That’s so sweet”,  _ Carina smiled softly _ , “I’d die to see that” _

_ “I can send you a video if you want”,  _ Maya offered, trying to give them a topic to talk about in the future

_ “I do, yes”,  _ Carina accepted, yawning strongly right after and closing her eyes. Maya didn’t say anything else, knowing Carina had fallen back asleep when she heard her steady breath. The fire chief just smiled to herself as she ended the call. She didn’t know if the doctor would even remember their conversation; yet, just talking to her was enough.

-

A couple of days passed by without Maya hearing back from Carina. The firefighter thought the doctor really didn’t even remember the call, therefore she never sent her the video of herself making Luna giggle nor did she call again, leaving the ball completely on Carina’s side. 

At the moment, all the crew was drinking together after a particularly difficult shift; they had answered to several calls, a lot of them resulting in people hurt and, sadly, even dead. It was in days like these that they realized the toughness of the job they had, choosing to rely on one another for support in order to get through it and make it to the next shift stronger. They all went to their favorite bar and were taken by surprise when Maya offered to pay. Among playing darts, flirting a bit and joking around with themselves, everyone was having a fairly good time, managing to clear their heads a little.

“Why haven’t you called Sarah?”, Vic questioned Maya, casually taking a sip of her beer

“Who is Sarah?”, Maya asked, but soon remembered when Vic gave her a judgmental look, “oh, right, Sarah. I’ve just been busy”

“She is nice, Maya, I promise you”, Vic guaranteed, “give her a chance”

“Give who a chance?”, Jack asked as he started paying attention to the women's conversation

“Sarah”, Vic replied simply

“Oh, she is hot”, Jack commented shamelessly

“Indeed”, Miller joined the conversation having overhead everything with Travis, “if you don’t call her, I will”

“Yeah, ‘cause every lesbian is looking for a man like you”, Travis joked with his friend, knowing Sarah’s sexuality

“I’m gonna go away now”, Maya stated simply, not enjoying a single second of the conversation they were having

“Wait, seriously”, Travis uttered, “the woman is really nice, I think you will like her. You just have to go on one date, you don’t need to marry her”

“Give it a try, chief”, Miller encouraged, all of them looking at Maya expectantly

“What, now?”, Maya asked in surprise, “you want me to call her now?”

“It can’t hurt”, Vic commented 

With all her friends staring at her, Maya had no way out so she just reached for her phone in her pocket and started dialing the number; it was a good thing she had alcohol in her blood. However, when she was on the verge of pressing the call button, her phone started ringing; the sound made everyone curious and the chief’s heart skipped a beat.

“Excuse me”, Maya said before going outside and accepting the call

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapters will be longer  
> how many chapters left? no idea  
> what am i doing tomorrow? binge-watching the released episodes of season 4 of station19 and season 17 of greys   
> am i gonna freak out with the new episodes? hell yes
> 
> see ya  
> be back on Friday (probably


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was so proud of this chapter cause i thought it was so nice with lots of dialogue and that's my favorite thing to write but after last night's episode i guess eh whatever

**Chapter Ten**

_ “Is this a bad time?” _ , Carina asked as soon as Maya’s face popped up on her screen and she could see the firefighter was on the street, many people passing by behind her

_ “No, not at all” _ , Maya replied quickly, noticing the set up the doctor was in, “are you having breakfast?’

_ “Yeah, I’m 9 hours ahead of you”, _ Carina reminded the blonde, who made a face for having forgotten again such basic thing as time zones; the doctor couldn’t help but ask,  _ “where are you?” _

_ “At a bar. We had a difficult shift today so I thought we could drink it out” _ , Maya explained 

_ “As we all know, alcohol is the adult answer to everything” _ , Carina joked in a a successful attempt to make Maya smile; the doctor remembered the impact this type of shift had on Maya, and she couldn’t imagine how much harder it was on her now that she was chief, making her feel a bit worried as to how the firefighter would deal with it, but kind of happy she was relying on her friends and not trying to deal with it by herself,  _ “listen, if you wanna get back to your friends, please do. We can talk some other time” _

_ “No, I really don’t” _ , Maya was fast to deny, sounding almost desperate; not only did she want to talk to Carina, she also knew that going back inside meant being bullied into calling...damn it, what was her name again?

_ "Okay, then” _ , Carina smiled, not wanting to hang up either,  _ “I’ve been waiting for the video you promised me of you with Luna. I don’t believe you’re that good with her unless there is proof” _

_ “Sorry, I completely forgot about it”,  _ Maya lied without thinking twice

_ “Yet I was the one 99% asleep”,  _ Carina noted rightfully, taking a sip of her coffee; when a particularly bright stray of light illuminated Maya’s face a bit more contrasting it to the dark street, Carina could see, even if it was for a split second, how tired she looked,  _ “you’re not working too hard, are you?” _

_ “When have I ever?” _ , Maya tried to slip in a joke of her own, but Carina dismissed it with only a look, not saying anything until Maya told her the truth,  _ “I may or may not be working longer hours and not taking days off” _

_ “Bambina, please” _ , Carina didn’t realize it, but using that word made Maya’s heart skip a bit,  _ “I know how much you love your job but it’s important to slow down every once in a while and enjoy life” _

As Maya was about to open her mouth to try to defend herself, she felt someone approaching her and looking over her shoulder. Vic went outside in order to check on her friend because, according to everyone, she was taking too long. Hughes greeted Carina with a smile and Maya felt the need to end the call, not wanting her friend to intrude; the doctor didn’t complain, but demanded the video Maya had promised her. Victoria and Maya stared at each other in silence for a moment; however, Vic couldn’t not comment about what she had just witnessed.

“So that’s why you never called Sarah”, Vic concluded logically, “Carina is back in the picture”

“No, she is not”, Maya denied, putting her phone in her pocket, “we’re still very broken up”

“So what? You’re friends now?”, Vic tried to make sense of the situation as they went back inside

“Let’s just drink and not talk about it, shall we?”, Maya basically pleaded, rejoining their group of friends

“What are we not talking about?”, Miller asked, opening space for the two women

“Do you know who Maya was talking to just now?”, Victoria questioned rhetorically, making everyone look at her filled with curiosity, “Doctor Carina DeLuca”

“Are they back together?”, Travis lit up with happiness

“Oh, man, Carina was great”, Miller commented; although they did not have much proximity. the firefighter thought the Italian was very polite and funny

“Yeah, I liked her alright”, Jack said nonchalantly

“That’s because she didn’t exchange a word with you for a good six months”, Maya recalled the beginning of the whole Jack and Carina relationship; later on, though, they started talking to each other at least a little, “anyways, we are not back together, it was just a video-call and we’re gonna talk about something else now”

“Okay”, Travis was the one who agreed for all of them, “but I just wanna let you know that she is the best person you have ever dated”

“She is the only person I have ever truly dated”, Maya was confused

“Touché”, Travis ended the topic as if what he had said made any sense at all.

The rest of the night went by smoothly as Maya’s love life was left out of the conversation. When she arrived home, the first thing she did was looking for the promised video and sending it to Carina, tossing her phone on the couch and going to the bathroom in order to take a shower. She tripped a few times on her way there and, although she didn’t like to admit it, she was a little drunk, which made her just jump in bed naked after her shower and drift off to sleep.

-

What neither one of them expected was that two innocent video-calls would turn into texting each other on a daily basis; dedicating themselves to arranging the perfect time for a FaceTime session that would last anything between 10 minutes and 2 hours, depending on the amount of free time they had; being excited to talk to each other and share every piece of news they had; not hooking up with anyone else and refusing to go to any date with whoever - although this one they claimed it was because they were taking some time for themselves. Within a month, without even noticing it, Maya and Carina were basically living a long-distance relationship, with all the perks and struggles it has to offer; they, however, were officialy in no relationship at all.

“The woman didn’t know she was pregnant?”, Maya questioned in surprise. It was around 11 p.m in Seattle, which meant it was early in the morning in Zurich; this was the time they would usually call each other once it worked well for both of them. Maya’s iPad was placed on her nightstand as she mindlessly undressed herself so she could slip into some pajamas

_ “Not a clue”,  _ Carina affirmed as she was still in bed herself, going in later that day since she would be dedicating her time completely to her research,  _ “I delivered a baby from a woman who had no idea she was even pregnant” _

“Is that a thing? Can that really happen?”, Maya asked curiously and a little worriedly as she took of her jeans

_ “It can happen sometimes, yeah”,  _ Carina explained, changing her position so holding her phone would be more comfortable,  _ “but it’s not really that common” _

“Dear God, I would literally die on the spot if something like that happened to me”, Maya stated as she continued to undress herself, her shirt gone

_ “Hm, Maya”,  _ Carina called the other woman’s attention as she finally discarded her bra on the bed, her bare chest exposed,  _ “you’re...kinda naked there” _

“Crap, sorry”, Maya finally realized what she was doing, grabbing the t-shirt she was previously wearing to put it back on, “I didn’t mean to strip for you”

_ “You know, you can make good money doing that now”,  _ Carina joked to lighten the mood and not make Maya concerned, the firefighter just rolled her eyes,  _ “anyways, Chief Bishop, where are we on you taking days off?” _

“We’re not”, Maya revealed, continuing just as Carina was about to complain, “I’ve been on the position three months only, I can’t just take days off now”

_ “Didn’t you say the captain they assigned to your station is extremely good at what he does? So, leave him in charge”,  _ Carina gave her a logical alternative

“That’s not how things work, Carina”, Maya was already starting to get a bit annoyed with this conversation

_ “You know there’s more to life than work”,  _ Carina stated firmly; this was a current topic of their conversation back when they were officially dating. It wasn’t that Carina didn’t want Maya to succeed at her job or anything like that, it’s just she wanted Maya to live, to enjoy life,  _ “I don’t mean to boss you around, I just...I get worried and you know exactly why”  _

“I know”, Maya agreed almost silently. She knew what Carina was referring to as she was scared of that herself, “I will think about it, I promise you”

_ “Don’t promise me”,  _ Carina sweetly demanded,  _ “you’re not doing this for me, you’re doing this for yourself” _

“Then I promise myself”, Maya smiled at how at ease Carina made her feel even when the topic was serious, completely spacing out and taking off her shirt again to go find some pajamas

_ “Maya”,  _ Carina called her out one more time, laughing at the recurrence of the action

“Oh, for the love of God”, Maya complained to herself, disappearing from in front of the camera to finally go change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m gonna pour my heart out now and it contains spoilers
> 
> SPOILERS
> 
> S  
> P  
> O  
> I  
> L  
> E  
> R  
> S 
> 
> Okay, I’ve warned you, NOW
> 
> Honestly, I can’t even begin to explain how fucking pissed I am. It made absolutely no sense at all to kill DeLuca, he was like the only character in Grey’s who still had an interesting storyline, with good plots (like the Opal one, the whole Alex thing back in the day, his relationship with Meredith, etc) and addressing the mental health issue on men. Besides that, Giacomo’s acting is truly perfect, why the fuck would you give that up?  
> That being said, there are so many boring characters and storylines on Grey’s now and Krista could’ve killed any of them twice that it wouldn’t matter for more than a handful of people whereas DeLuca had an impact on literally the entire hospital.  
> For example, everyone is so freaking tired of the whole Owen/Teddy arc; IT HAS BEEN GOING ON SINCE LIKE SEASON 6 NO ONE CARES ANYMORE  
> When was the last time Jackson even performed a surgery or did something relevant to the show? All he does is sleep around and be the rich guy.  
> The McWidow guy who has no personality at all, is rude to everyone and no one even remembers he exists.  
> Maggie is gonna be the death of >me< someday with how annoying she is.
> 
> And these are just top of my head. Anyways, screw Krista for killing off such an interesting character.  
> Congratulations to Stefania and Giacomo for their amazing acting throughout the two hours of crossover, it made me cry like a little child  
> I hope season 17 of Grey’s actually is the last one bc lets be honest no one there has a story to tell anymore
> 
> That being said, I’ll try to continue writing this fic to be as light as possible, so don’t expect major dramas or whatever because I’m sick and tired of it.
> 
> I'm gonna reply to your comments soon bc now I'm still fucking pissed
> 
> Bye
> 
> See you soon
> 
> Be nice and drink water


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Chapter Eleven**

During the course of the week after, Maya considered taking time off. In their conversations, Carina didn’t bring up the topic again in order not to put pressure on Maya, leaving the decision entirely up to her. Yet, the doctor was still worried because she knew that Maya making her life revolve around work could trigger feelings and emotions she had fought very hard to overcome, and that was something the firefighter was aware of as well.  _ “Do it for yourself”, _ Maya repeated in her head as she was on the verge of making a decision. Although the fire chief felt as if it was something she actually had to do, say she took the days off, what then? Was she supposed to stay home staring at the ceiling? When her and Carina were together, at least she had a valid reason to do so, but after that not working seemed nonsense; so, she hadn’t taken a proper break in roughly a year. After thinking thoroughly, the blonde finally made a decision, and there was only one person she wanted to fill in.

“I did it”, Maya informed when Carina picked up the phone. If her calculations were correct, it would be around 8 p.m in Zurich, therefore the doctor would already be home considering her shift that day; nevertheless, Carina seemed to be in a café

_ “You did what exactly?”,  _ Carina questioned, her gaze focused on Maya’s blue eyes as the sunlight hit them perfectly inside her office

“I’m taking some days off. Ten, to be precise”, Maya explained, checking Carina’s surroundings and judging the place she was at very nice and cozy

“ _That’s good news_ ”, Carina smiled, proud of her ex-girlfriend, _“what do you plan on doing?”_

“No idea”, Maya replied, still thinking about if it was actually a good idea to have taken that many days off, “I don’t want to just sit around in my house and do nothing all day”

“ _Have I told you about the camping places I found out in Switzerland?_ ”, Carina asked, not recalling if she had ever informed Maya of her findings, “I can send you some pictures, I think you’ll like them”

“You want me to go all the way to Europe just to go camping?”, Maya questioned, trying to read between the lines

“ _Well, you love camping_ ”, Carina stated, taking a sip of whatever liquid was in her cup and carefully considering her next sentence, _“and you could pay me a visit”_

“Come with me”, Maya blurted out without thinking, regretting it as soon as it left her mouth because she thought it was too straightforward; she had no idea on what page her and Carina were; if she was asking her this only because she considered the two of them friends

_“Hm, I’m already here_ ”, Carina informed her logically

“Camping”, Maya explained, placing the phone on the table and focusing her eyes on the computer beside, her typing possible to be heard, “if I go there, will you come camping with me?”

_“I can maybe go to a cabin near the mountains for a couple days if that’s what you’re asking”_ , Carina answered; not only did she not like camping, she also didn’t know if she would be able to get a lot of days off on such short notice

“Done”, Maya reacted instantly to both Carina and the thing she was doing on the computer, “just bought my ticket, I’ll be in Zurich in four days”

“ _What?_ ”, Carina was taken back a little, but was surely happy, _“you will?”_

“It’s a nice place for camping, right?”, Maya smiled

_“Right”_ , Carina smiled back, knowing in her heart that maybe camping was not the main reason Maya had just spent hundreds of dollars on a plane ticket 

-

Four days were definitely not enough for them to get ready to see each other in person again. Yes, they had been talking again for a while now, but being face to face was so much different. Given all their history together, not considering the possibility of something happening between them was just plain stupid; nevertheless, considering it could also be. After much offering, Carina finally convinced Maya not to get a hotel and stay at her place instead, claiming she had a comfortable empty room and arguing the firefighter would spend much less money. Maya thought it was dangerous. Truth to be told, she thought this entire trip was dangerous, and the reasons why were pretty clear. However, what is life without a bit of danger? 

The fire chief was at her place. With less than 12 hours left until she had to catch the plane, Maya was just laying in bed staring at the ceiling enjoying her second day of vacation. Sure, she had ran like a million miles by now and doing this for many more days would drive her absolutely insane, but for now it was what gave her time to think about what on Earth she was actually doing. Go on vacation from a position you’ve worked for your entire career and you’ve only been three months on to go to another continent mostly to see your ex-girlfriend to whom you had gone back to talking almost every day just a month prior and, on top of it all, staying at her place under the excuse you were gonna go camping? Sure, why not?

Carina’s mind was the same. Although her place was not at all dirty or untidy, she still managed to find the time to clean up and receive Maya. Carina did not know how many emotions Maya would be able to bring back just by being there; she had no idea what seeing the firefighter again would do to some doubts that were already present in her mind; she had even less clue on what impact going to a cabin in the middle of nowhere together would have. But, yeah, sure, let’s do it.

At Maya’s apartment, the sound of the doorbell indicated her expected guest.

“Got that warm coat you asked for”, Vic handed the chief a bag as she walked inside and sat on the couch, “what do you need it for anyway?”

“I’d hope you knew what you need a coat for”, Maya answered ironically, putting the bag down and joining her friend on the couch

“You’re lucky I’m in a good mood”, Vic replied simply, “what have you been doing?”

“Nothing. Vacation sucks”, Maya complained

“You’ve been on vacation for two days”, Vic commented; how could she already be bored?

“Yes, and it sucks”, Maya stood by her opinion, “but the thing is, I needed it. Also, the other reason why I needed you to come over is because I’m gonna be gone for like a week and I need you to house sit for me. I would ask Andy, but she’s already got too much on her hands with Luna”

“You’ll be gone to where exactly? Is that why you need the coat? Are you going somewhere cold? Zurich is cold. You’ve been video-calling Carina non-stop. Oh my God, you took days off to go see Carina in Zurich”, Vic spoke at the speed of light, coming to a conclusion that was 99% correct in a matter of just seconds

“Uh, slow down there FBI”, Maya tried to play it cool; no one needed to know of her whereabouts, “you got all that from me asking you for a warm coat and to house sit?”

“No”, Vic replied fast, leaning back against the couch, “I got all of that from the tickets and your passport on the table right in front of us”

-

“How come everytime I call you you’re in bed?”, Andrew’s face appeared on the other side of the screen, the man in scrubs resting on the attendings’ lounge

_“I quit my job_ ”, Carina said seriously, but wasn’t able to contain her laugh with her brother’s reaction, _“stupido”_

“Whatever, Carina”, Andrew dismissed his sister’s joke, “how are you?”

_“I don’t know”_ , Carina replied honestly; she hadn’t felt at home in Zurich from day one, which was odd, _“I thought it would get better after the last time we talked, but it hasn’t”_

“Don’t you think about coming back?”, Andrew asked wholeheartedly. He knew his sister had never had a difficult time adapting anywhere, so the entire situation worried him a bit

_“I have barely been here three months, Andrea”_ , Carina replied, _“leaving now just feels like quitting”_

“Well, you’re not quitting”, Andrew assured her, “you’re coming back to the people who love and miss you. I know I do”

_“That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me”_ , Carina smiled

“Long shift, I barely know what I’m saying anymore”, Andrew decided it was his time to mess with Carina, the OB/GYN cursing him off in Italian, “I’m just saying maybe you belong in Seattle”

" _Maybe I do"_ , Carina agreed in a low tone.

The two of them talked for a little while longer, their call being interrupted by the sound of Andrew’s pager going off. Carina considered telling him Maya was going to visit her, but gave up when she realized she would be bombarded with questions if she did, one of them possibly being if Maya was the reason she wasn’t adapting well in Zurich. Truth is, she could be one of them, but there were so many more things. Carina had lived all around the world, and even her home in Italy had never felt so much like an actual home as Seattle - it was everything. The years she lived there were some of the best of her life; she met amazing people, she grew closer to her brother, she worked at one of the best hospitals in the US, she fell in love. Was Maya right before? Did she actually have everything she had asked for in Seattle and gave that up for one senseless adventure? The doctor got up before she could let her mind take over, Maya would be there soon and there were still a few she had to get done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 days 'till we see carina breaking down and maya having no clue on how to handle it yay


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here i am with yet another chapter before tomorrow's episode

**Chapter Twelve**

The sight of Maya passing through the security doors made Carina’s body tense up. Maya’s entire face lit up when her eyes landed on Carina. The doctor demanded she was the one to pick up Maya at the airport, not even bothering to come up with an excuse other than the fact that she wanted to do it. Maya didn’t say anything when she approached Carina - the blonde simply threw her arms around the other doctor’s waist, her action being well-reciprocated; this, right here, was the sense of familiarity Carina had been craving for so long, the feeling of home. The taller woman strengthened the hug, the smile on her face growing bigger when she noticed Maya still wore the same perfume.

“Hey”, Maya said as they finally parted, her tiredness due to the long flight and the time difference forgotten, her arms still resting on Carina’s waist

“Welcome to Europe”, Carina replied with a smile, untangling themselves and reaching for Maya’s suitcase; the firefighter thought to stop her from doing so, but decided to just accept it, “so, do you wanna go home or do you want to eat something first?”

“Home, please”, Maya responded, an unexplainable desire to reach for Carina’s empty hand, “I gotta take a shower”

Side by side, Carina guided them to her car. If Maya once thought the Porsche the doctor drove was something, she was definitely not ready for the brand new shiny BMW waiting for them in the parking lot. Carina’s place was a bit far from the airport, but the ride was filled with Maya’s amusement at how amazing flying first class was - that was another thing Carina had done, upgraded her ticket because  _ “it’s a 12-hour flight, Maya, I just want you to be comfortable enough” _ . Seeing it as a gift, Maya accepted without complaining although she used to hate it when the doctor paid expensive stuff for her. The firefighter income was not bad at all, yet it didn’t even begin to compare with what doctors earned. That statement was proven by Carina’s flat. Maya’s mouth dropped open when she entered the place and noticed how fancy everything looked, not being able to hold back comments anymore.

“Shit, Carina, are you drug dealing?”, Maya questioned making Carina laugh; damn, how she missed the sound of that laugh

“I told you, the money here is good”, Carina recalled one of their previous conversations, “besides, I got lucky. The owner was renting this place for a reasonable price”

“That’s...wow”, Maya expressed her admiration once again. The flat wasn’t really that big, the size was pretty close to her own apartment; however, everything about it screamed finesse. The view itself was probably worth like 2 thousand dollars a month...how much would that be in euros? , “so, hm, where can I shower?”

“Oh, first door to your right”, Carina pointed with her hand, “there’s a suite there, make yourself comfortable”

Maya found a perfectly neat room which appeared to have been just waiting for her. She placed her suitcase near the bed, undressed herself and jumped into a warm shower. Although Carina complained a lot about it being cold, the city’s temperature was just about the same as Seattle’s, which confused Maya. How was Carina okay with 60°F in Seattle and not here?  The firefighter finished up in the bedroom and went outside to meet Carina again. It was around 3 p.m now and, even though she was tired, Maya didn’t want to sleep not to mess with her sleeping schedule even more.

“Can I have some of that coffee?”, Maya asked as she joined Carina in the kitchen, the smell of the beverage filling the entire room

“I made it for you, actually”, Carina revealed, grabbing a mug and pouring some for her guest, “thought you might need it”

“You know me too well”, Maya attempted a joke, but it just ended up coming out as a statement, “what are your plans for today?”

“About that”, Carina replied, “I’m sorry but I have to go to the hospital soon. It’s not a long shift, I’ll be home around midnight, but I couldn’t get today off.”

“That’s fine, no problem”, Maya completely understood, “I’ll just adventure myself in this unknown city”

“Oh, I’ll text you what to do”, Carina took out her phone, searching for Maya’s name and sending her a list she had prepared for this very occasion, “these are some of the best places in town, touristy stuff, restaurantes and everything. There is a spare key for you by the door. You can use wherever you need here, make yourself home, really. And you don’t need to wait up for me, I know how tired you must be”

Carina left soon after. Finding herself alone, Maya took her mug and went to drink some coffee by the giant window that offered a fantastic view from the 11th floor.  _ “There’s no way Carina is not enjoying this life”,  _ the visitor thought to herself, which made her happy and sad at the same time. Whereas Carina being happy made her happy, it also meant that the chances of her going back to Seattle were slim therefore the two of them being back together would be nothing but a dream. But then, why couldn’t Maya come live here? She could - at least she had the ability too. Europeans needed firefighters too, right? However, she did not see herself leaving her life in Seattle to start everything all over again. Deciding that was enough thinking for the day, Maya grabbed the spare key Carina had left for her and made her way out, basing herself on the list on her phone. It turns out Zurich was an absolutely beautiful city. The blonde walked slowly, admiring every inch of the places she passed by. This was something she had never done in her life - travelling to a completely different place by herself and enjoying her own company while she discovered new places, new people, new tastes, new everything. Maybe this was what Carina enjoyed so much, the feeling of newness. Without even realizing, Maya was smiling alone as she walked on the sidewalks, everyone passing by judging the woman a bit crazy.

Maya walked back into the apartment around 11 p.m, she had her hands occupied with a bag full of swiss chocolate, a present for Luna and a takeout for Carina since she had no idea if the doctor had had dinner yet, and it was better to be safe than sorry. Placing the takeout bag on the kitchen counter, Maya went to her designated bedroom to change into some more comfortable clothes. Carina would be a while still, so she grabbed the chocolate and went to the living room, sitting on the couch and just waiting for the owner of the house. When she heard the doorbell, she thought it was weird because she was sure she had seen Carina taking the key with her; however, something might’ve happened so she just opened the door.

“Hi”, this tall beautiful woman said from the place she was standing, “is Carina home?”

“Hm, no, she is at work”, Maya informed the unwanted surprise, “is there anything I can help you with?”

“Can you just tell her that I’m having a little get together at my place and she is invited to come?”, the woman questioned, checking Maya out in a kind of judgmental way

“And who would you be?”, Maya replied with another question, her tone a bit harsh

“I’m Maddison”, the stranger answered. With that, she just turned around to take the elevator and left a confused and somewhat jealous Maya standing with the door open. The blonde just went back to where she was just moments prior, trying to figure out who on Earth that woman could be. Was she just a neighbor? A lover? A girlfriend? But then again, why should Maya care, right? Carina was single. A single, beautiful, intelligent, funny, lovable Italian, and she could do whatever and, in this case, whoever she wanted, apparently.

  
  


“Hey, I thought you’d be sleeping already”, Carina caught Maya's attention when she walking inside to find Maya sitting on the couch, too invested on whatever was on her phone

“You’re back”, Maya noticed, putting her phone away, “I grabbed you some food from that one restaurant on the list. Have you eaten?”

“I haven’t”, Carina lied; she had had dinner already, but that was a sweet gesture she didn’t feel like dismissing, “I’m gonna jump in the shower really quick, be right back”

This was one thing that had not changed, Maya thought - Carina loved showers and would never arrive home, especially from the hospital, and not take one. The doctor came back wearing sweats and sweatpants that were just too big for her own good, which made an involuntary smile appear on Maya’s face.

“So, what did you do today?”, Carina asked, opening the bag to find an appetizing meal

“Walked around a lot”, Maya got up from where she was sitting and joined Carina in the kitchen, helping her place the food on a plate, “this city is beautiful, so many things to explore. Now I get your adventurous spirit”

“Now you do”, Carina sat down on the dinner table, soon followed by Maya; too bad it had taken too long, “what time do you want to leave tomorrow?”

“It’s a three-hour drive, right?”, Maya asked and Carina confirmed with a nod; they would be going to a cabin they rented and the landscapes were supposed to be breathtaking, “after breakfast, then? We should probably buy some food, tho”

“Breakfast, supermarket, roadtrip, got it”, Carina created her own mental schedule

“So, a woman named Maddison was here earlier”, Maya informed her against her will after a few seconds of silence, “she said she’s having a get-together at her place now, she says you’re invited”

“Oh, I’m so not into it”, Carina said, “I’ll text her after to say I’m not going”

“Does she live in this building?”, Maya tried to get a little information about who she was

“Yeah, eighth floor”, Carina replied simply, Maya’s loud yawn catching her attention, “you’re sleepy”

“I am”, Maya confirmed with a smile, “will you be mad if I go to bed now?”

“I will be mad if you don’t go”, Carina replied. Maya got up, giving the doctor a sweet goodnight kiss on the head, Carina closing her eyes as a reaction

“Night, Carina”, Maya said before making her way to the bedroom

“Night, Maya”, Carina replied, not able to hold back a smile. As much as she tried, there was nothing that made her happier than being with Maya, even if it was just as friends for some few days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have two things to say
> 
> 1 - i started this fic with zero idea where i was going with it and as it ended up being the longest fic I have written (12 chapters and counting)
> 
> 2 - i recently saw the promo pics for 4x08 and since i think they're gonna do a little jump in time im more than ready for jealous maya (if they don't do a time jump then it's just straigh up nonsense

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea where I'm going with this story lol  
> enjoy the ride


End file.
